Showing posts from December, 2013

Tactics of a Narcissistic Mother by Gail Meyers

Are We to Honor a Narcissistic Mother?

© by Gail Meyers
Dysfunctional, abusive, narcissistic parents, pastors, churches and cults love to take biblical text out of context in order to use it as a pretext. By doing this someone with sinister motives can twist scripture to the point of causing it to appear to mean nearly anything they want it to in order to give the appearance of justifying their abusive behavior and condemning you.  They love to attempt to use your faith, and even God, against you.

Using Scripture as an Abusive Weapon  As previously mentioned, I grew up in a dysfunctional, spiritually dead church where my alcoholic pedophile step-father was a deacon.  Then, my "selfless Christian martyr" narcissistic personality disordered mother continued the spiritual abuse after his death.  So not only am I intimately aware of how this is done, it is an enormous pet peeve of mine. I know what it is like as an adult child of narcissists to be bludgeoned with this commandment in order to reinforc…

A Christian Malignant Narcissist Mother?

When I say that evil has to do with killing, I do not mean to restrict myself to corporeal murder. Evil is that which kills spirit. Dr. M. Scott Peck People of the Lie 

© by Gail Meyers 

My narcissistic personality disordered mother pretended to be exactly everything she was not, including a "selfless saint" or "martyred mother." The "Christian" narcissist mother may play the "martyred mother" when it suits her purposes, but it is well established that the "martyred mother" in a dysfunctional family is the one controlling and manipulating the entire family. When you hear something like, "I tried to be a good mother, but..." you know the martyr is on stage manipulating.

This is the absolute epitome of how a narcissistic mother pretends to be exactly opposite of what they actually are. A mother high on the narcissism spectrum, what some consider the very embodiment of evil, parading as a "selfless saint" and "martyre…

Dysfunctional Family Roles

These are the rigid family roles that develop in dysfunctional families.  This video by Jef Gazley relates to alcoholic family systems, which is often an issue for the parents or the adult children of a narcissist, or both.  In my experience this is very helpful to understand and many of the same ideas also apply if the core issue is mental illness in a parent too.

There is a dysfunction, such as addiction or mental illness of the parent that requires these roles to form.  The parent is not functioning as parent in meeting the needs of the children in a healthy way.  Inside the children are often angry, insecure and do not feel good enough.   

Inverted parenting is a hallmark of an alcoholic family, as well as in a family with a narcissistic personality disordered mother.  This situation causes post traumatic stress disorder.  None of the children are getting their emotional needs met in a healthy way.  Each position that the children fill serves a purpose for the family.

Sons of Narcissistic Personality Disordered Mothers

© by Gail Meyers This is in honor of my late brother, the son of a narcissistic personality disordered mother.  It is in honor of his memory, as well as to inform those who so easily dismiss sons of narcissistic mothers as not enduring the wrath of a narcissist mother as severely as daughters do.  I beg to differ with you.

My brother had a heart of gold and deeply loved his family.  He was the kind of man who would give you the shirt off of his back if you needed it.  He was known for his heart of gold.  It was his biggest asset.  It may also have been his biggest downfall, second only to his own mother. 

My late brother was taken from us only months after our narcissistic mother died.  Their deaths stand in as stark of contrast as their hearts.  She was completely self-centered, immature, manipulative and dishonest, but masqueraded as a selfless saint.  He was known for his heart of gold, but ostracized and disrespected by his entire extended family of origins based on her slander.

Christmas with Narcissistic Personality Disordered Mother

© by Gail Meyers
Bahumbug!  Narcissistic personality disordered mothers are Scrooges at Christmas.  They delight in ruining your holidays and celebrations. Whether it is Thanksgiving, Christmas, your wedding, birthday or graduation, they will ruin it.  Yes, it's that time of the year again.

The first and foremost objective of this article is to provide validation and support to the adult sons and daughters of narcissistic personality disordered parents. As you relate to these scenarios, you are also encouraged to share your thoughts and experiences in the comments section.

First of all, let's stick to reality and be honest.  Daughters of narcissistic personality disordered mothers need to drop the fantasy that this will be the year we have the family Christmas we always wanted.

I do not mean to be a scrooge, but my point is to be realistic.  If every Christmas with your narcissistic personality disordered mother has been a disaster, chances are it will be the same as it…

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