Showing posts from August, 2013

Tactics of a Narcissistic Mother by Gail Meyers

Tactics of a Narcissistic Personality Disordered Mother

The Narcissist's Mask Slipped. Photo used with written permission from Artist Sherit Ra via Deviant Art

© by Gail Meyers
This insight into narcissistic personality disorder is offered from the perspective of more than 40 years as the daughter of a late narcissistic personality disordered mother, as well as years of recovery. Reading a list of diagnostic traits of narcissistic personality disorder may be a helpful guide, but this is how some of those traits play out in everyday life. Narcissistic personality disorder is a serious condition that can be especially damaging to the children. It is not just a shallow or self-centered person. It can take decades for the children of a narcissistic personality disordered mother to recognize what the real issue is, many never do.

Gaslighting, forgive and forget, gossiping smear campaigns, and playing the victim while vilifying the true victim, are prevalent maneuvers of the narcissistic mother that will be discussed. These tactics were nearly…

Healing from a Narcissistic Mother

© by Gail Meyers
It really helped me to map out the recovery process.  I want to know where I am going.  What's the plan?  Volumes have been written about each one of these areas, but in a very general sense there are at least three steps in therapy.  Understanding this helped me understand why the things adult sons and daughters of narcissists are told over and over by professionals are important.

Understanding the ProblemThis is the part where you go to therapy without the slightest idea there is a name for the lifetime of abuse and trauma you have endured.  You are convinced at this point that it is all our fault or you are going crazy, or both.  Then the therapist tells you she believes you are a daughter or son of a narcissistic personality disordered mother.  It might also be from reading articles and thinking this sounds hauntingly familiar, then talking to the therapist about it or joining a group or both. 

No matter the way in which we begin to discover the problem, we need…

Movies about Narcissism and Narcissistic Personality Disorder

© by Gail Meyers
Dealing with a narcissist is more than most adults can handle, let alone dealing with one growing up!  I know the feeling.  After the ordeal that was the first 40 years of my life, I began learning everything I could about narcissistic personality disorder.

I learned about the tactics, such as forgive and forget, gaslighting, playing the victim, triangulation, the silent treatment and more.  I developed an insatiable appetite to learn about the disorder and dysfunction.  Then one day I realized narcissists are in movies, too.

Some of these movies were very helpful during the time when the denial was shattering and reality began staring me in the face.  I hope you will find some of them helpful, too.  There is just something about seeing the behavior displayed in a character we are not deeply emotionally invested it.  It becomes clear, easier to see.

Then there is the issue of validation.  Narcissists perfect the art of gaslighting.  Gaslighting invalidates your feelings, …

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