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Tactics of a Narcissistic Mother by Gail Meyers

The Scapegoat of the Narcissistic Personality Disordered Mother

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© by Gail Meyers
The children are assigned rigid roles in dysfunctional families where alcoholism, sexual abuse or mental illness is an everyday reality. I have often seen it claimed that a narcissist must marry an enabling partner in order for the marriage to stay together.  The spouse is focused on the needs of the narcissist rather than the children.  However, in my experience a narcissist married another narcissist. So an adult child of a narcissist may very well be dealing with parents with more than one or even all of these issues. 

The assignment of these roles usually happens in early childhood, long before the child could possibly have any idea what is going on. A child may not be able to articulate it, but children very quickly understand the unwritten family rules that exist in dysfunctional families.

These roles are taken very seriously because at some level the family members realize the survival of the whole dysfunctional family system depends on everyone play…