The Scapegoat of the Narcissistic Personality Disordered Mother
|The Scapegoat of a Narcissistic Mother by Gail Meyers |
Photo - Markus Anderson CC-SA-30 via Wikimedia Commons
The children are assigned rigid roles in dysfunctional families where alcoholism, sexual abuse or mental illness is an everyday reality. I have often seen it claimed that a narcissist must marry an enabling partner in order for the marriage to stay together. The spouse is focused on the needs of the narcissist rather than the children. However, in my experience a narcissist married another narcissist. So an adult child of a narcissist may very well be dealing with parents with more than one or even all of these issues.
The assignment of these roles usually happens in early childhood, long before the child could possibly have any idea what is going on. A child may not be able to articulate it, but children very quickly understand the unwritten family rules that exist in dysfunctional families.
These roles are taken very seriously because at some level the family members realize the survival of the whole dysfunctional family system depends on everyone playing their part. If you try to get out of your role, the entire dysfunctional family system will often go to extremes to put you back in your place.
The role I want to discuss is that of the scapegoat, because chances are if you are reading this you are the scapegoat. While the golden child also suffers many consequences from his assigned role, he is not likely to go looking for answers as to why narcissist mom thinks he is so wonderful!
This article, The Scapegoat of the Narcissistic Personality Disordered Mother has been moved to Echo Scapegoat Recovery Tactics© as part of the Summer 2017 move to @recoverytactics on Blogger and around the web. Join us there and please be sure to update your links. Thanks! - Gail Meyers, August 2017.